Should Have

It should have been easy when they told me.
I’d known it would happen all along,
It should have been easy,
But I was so wrong,
I shouldn’t have felt it,
The way I felt
I didn’t want to feel it,
accept it,
to know, that yes ,
you can feel your heart could break in two.
I shouldn’t have done it,
the way I cried,
but I didn’t care,
the world needed to share,
for how I so needed it to bear my pain.

My heart was broken,
and how did I know?
Well, wouldn’t you know if you had lost your soul?
Though life moved on I just sat and stared,
started at the face that was supposedly mine.
It was swollen and sunken,
red and blotchy,
in the mirror.
I could hear them talk to me,
feel them touch me,
but what did I care,
I just stared in the mirror,
why should I care,
for it was not me in that mirror.

Part of me left that day,
the scar on my heart remains.
And sometimes I just stand,
staring in the distance,
knowing that it’s gone.
She took it with her when she left me;
she left me, my dearest friend.