This is a beginning/ prologue of a story that I've written...It is just a Rough Draft, and will have SOOOOOOO much more editing! Anyway, I thought I'd post it and see what people thought. So as you critique and cringe just keep thinking rough draft! (:
"She has to go... if only for her own safety."
"But she's so young."
"Don't you dare try to protect her! She isn't so young anymore, she's a woman, if only because she's been forced to be one."
The man said with the slightest thread of affection stinging his voice.
He looked through the crack of the wooded door, to the small figure lying on an rough army cot that he had secretly watched for the past seventeen years. Her thick raven curls were strewn across her body framing her face like a porcelain doll. Her aristocratic face was gently inclined to the left, her hand gently touching her cheek. Her eyelids were still darkened and painted from her restless day. A stream of light flowing in from the door crack gently showed where the sun had kissed her face, bringing the look of blush to her paled complexion. Her other hand laid gently off to the side, laying on a colorful woven blanket that lifted up and down with each gentle and emollient breath.
"Where will she go?" The woman pleaded
"The America's."
"No!" The woman's voice suddenly went hoarse.
"There is no other choice, they'll find her if she goes anywhere else, at least to quickly anyways."A touch of humor came back into his black voice.
"How will you tell her?"
"Oh, no doubt she probably already knows."
The tall silhouettes left the door frame just as the dark green eyes opened.
That sounds nice!! :D
ReplyDeleteVery good! Makes me want to read it. Fix up your quotation mark-"he said" stuff and it will be excellent!
ReplyDeleteWow! This sounds really good so far. I am really interested to learn more about your characters and why she is being sent to America. You should put up more of this story.
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