Sigh...

Well Nutcracker is finally over, and the question you always get asked has returned. Are you happy or sad? With Algebra 2 and other classes I will admit that it has been ruff to be at WSU so much in just one week! Also, mentally, this has been the hardest year for me to get through Nutcracker. And this whole entire time I've had to think what do I want the most? Nutcracker or Marching Band?
At the first of this week I was so great full that it would all be over and I would be able to return to normal life. But, I should have known better. Sure enough as my mom drove me up to go to WSU for the last performance on Saturday night I just started to cry, and also on the way home. There were multiple reasons. The biggest one was that I thought that my older sister wouldn't be able to come. She is the only reason that I started to dance, and the only way I was able to get through Nutcracker. In some ways she was my only life line. You see, Ashley performed in the Nutcracker for 10 years. I remember the last year she just sat downstairs, where they have most of the dancers, on a chair in shock. And she cried. When the curtain goes down on the Finale what you don’t get to see as an audience is all the seniors breaking out in tears. There is such an emotion tie to Nutcracker that I can honestly say that you won’t understand it unless you have danced in it or had a daughter that’s danced in it. I don’t even know if siblings (unless they’ve done it) can fully comprehend it.
I now have only three years more that I can be in the Nutcracker, because I have now done seven years. Luckily she was able to come, and along with my pretty roses (= that was the best part of Nutcracker.
The reason I was so glad that Nutcracker was ending was one, some of the mental and emotional issues of it, and two (the biggest reason) was the massive exhaustion that comes from being in a dance production for a full week.
So the next question I usually get is what parts have you been? In 3rd grade (the youngest you can try out) I was a cookie, 4th- Angel (oh the joys of hair curlers), 5th- Mouse (I loved the solos), 6th- Arabian (6th grade Arabians rarely happen, in fact there hasn't been one for a while I think) 7th- R. Soldier (Okedoky), 8th Clown (Bouncing of the walls with enthusiasm), 9th R. Soldier. One thing that helped me this year was that they came down and told us that in fifteen years they had never seen better soldiers, and while some may say, "They were just saying that" believe me, when I say they were telling the truth, seems as how members of the audience and others in the Nutcracker who had had the part already stated it too.
On a lighter note, one of the funnest (I don’t care if they funnest isn’t a word) parts about being a red soldier is my hair. Because of mass quantities of hair spray that are used, when I brush my hair out it is fluffy, extremely wavy, soft, long (past my hip), shiny, and very voluminous, in fact most people just stare at it...I kid you not. Also the girls all have so much fun it's a party (this is usual for any part though), even if you just sit down and read your book it’s fun.
When it comes to my feet and other things (read Octobers- Dancing in the rain, one step at a time) some people probably wonder, and I know at times I do, how something that is so painful, mentally and physically can bring you so much joy. The answer- I don't know. One thing that I have learned in all my years in Nutcrackers and recitals (and even plays/dramas) is that being on stage and performing is my favorite place to be, I love it soooooo much! It is an incredible sensation that I love. Also, my best friends generally come from dance; they are a gigantic support system. I also love the time that I get to spend with my mother, as she works back stage. It is a huge bond between my sister and I. And my brother and father are there to support me... FYI boys- Matt has been to the Nutcracker almost 12 times, and once took a date, so in the words of Mrs. Cobia- Cowboy up! ( =
So thank you to those who were so nice to me this week, despite my grouchiness. Those who have held me up when I wanted to fall down, and to those of you that have lifted me up when you could have more easily brought me down.

"We dance for laughter, we dance for tears, we dance for madness, we dance for fears, we dance for hopes, we dance for screams, we are the dancers, we create the dreams."